Should we be specific about the woman we want to marry? Absolutely. However, make a list with long-term vision. Most of the characteristics we think we want in a wife aren’t ones that make for a good, lifelong relationship.
Let’s be honest ladies, it can be easy to let something slide or dismiss a red flag when a cute guy tells us yummy, fluttery words we want to hear. But is it an ugly situation when we let our hearts get too wrapped up into someone who isn’t a keeper.
We were made to have companions. Fact is, we desire someone we can talk to and share absolutely everything with. Someone who is right there in our face. Someone that is pleasing to our physical senses.
Now we can get by without. People have been doing it since the Apostles.
But deep down, no matter how many times we say,”I’m fine being single.” No matter how true that is(Which it is) we sincerely and purely want someone to be intimate with. And I mean the first few definitions of intimate that do not even relate to sex. Do not misunderstand what I’m saying.
Do not under-value what you want for. And the want I use is to say to ‘need’ or ‘lack’, not ‘to desire’.
But this does come with a warning. Do not let your own wants compromise yourself in Christ. Do not start to seek your own way. Your relationship should be edifying to God.
In The Song of Solomon 3:5 it says
Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you
by the gazelles and by the does of the field:
Do not arouse or awaken love
until it so desires.
This says to me that we are not to awaken love until it pleases. God is love. He should be the connector in our relationship. Do not awaken love until it pleases God. Because if we do, and it isn’t right or ‘Meant to be’, our hearts will be broken. And like any good father God does not want his child’s heart to be broken.
This is geared toward male and female. I know from experience that at times, some longer than others, we feel alone with God. We feel like we are so alone on this walk. We have God, we have Jesus. But we desire someone pleasing to our five senses that we can go to to tell our opinions, our secrets, our tragedies. Someone who can hug us physically. and wipe our tears away.
Never let yourself think that you are meant to be alone. No one is ‘Meant’ to be alone for every season of their life. There will be seasons you will be alone. But long term, I cannot and will not agree that there are people who are meant to be alone.
My generation of believers loves the idea of radical Christianity. Itâs edgy, compromises everything, itâs dangerously transparent, and itâs simple. Phrases like âI just want Jesusâ are its slogan â its very breath. Verses are tattooed on our backs, and Greek words are penned into our wrists and biceps. Our sweatshop-free clothes are ripped and dirty. Our coffee is fair-trade. Our books are doctrine-heavy and well worn. And maybe weâll even have a drink or a cigar here and there over a deep theological conversation. Today, most of us have made our pilgrimage to an African orphanage or held the hand of the dying somewhere in the third-world. We are not like our parents â who worry themselves that our bold-faith is going to leave us homeless and maybe dead. Itâs exciting to be alive today. The amount resources we have at our fingertips is overwhelming. And itâs invigorating to be a part of a generation of Sons and Daughters that just wants to get back to the un-muddied basics: âthe old, old story of Jesus and His love.â We want to live dangerously. And we would love the honor of being numbered with those in Hebrews 11 â Believers who lived so recklessly in homesickness for the love of God that the writer went on to say of them: âThey were put to death by stoning; they were sawed in two; they were killed by the sword. They went about in sheepskins and goatskins, destitute, persecuted and mistreated â the world was not worthy of them . They wandered in deserts and mountains, living in caves and in holes in the ground.â Hebrews 11:37-38 (NIV) Again, we read passages on the sufferings of Paul, like 2 Corinthians 11:23-28, and find our hearts stirring within us as if to say, âAh! If I could just have that kind of faith! If I could just live with that kind of abandon! That is what I was created for!â Our generation has reached out in longing saying, âthere has got to be more than this!â and is finding that heroes like Paul seem to have found itâ¦ Itâs that variable on the back of our tongue when we hear the words âfor me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.â Itâs Jesus. Untamed and unadulteratedly Jesus. Unpolluted by what the church wants to make Himâ¦ Unbound by what modern Philosophers want to call Him. We only want Jesus. And no less. This kind of Christianity is dangerously cool. And thatâs the thingâ¦ itâs dangerous. Here and there, itâs spot on; but my fear is that it flirts with the edge and settles for the empty satisfaction of a cultural ego-trip â thirsty to hear cool people say: âWow! Youâre doing great things for God!ââ¦ It says, âIâve got styleâ¦ and heart.â And when our âstyleâ starts to get a little to close to our âheartâ our faith begins to become as skin-deep as the skinny jeans we like to wear. Itâs a TOM-wearing, book-and-Bible-reading, simple-living, guitar-playing, coffee-drinking, bare-footing, leaf-licking, justice-loving, short-term-missions-tripping Christianity. And it looks really good. It makes sure that everyone knows that we love homosexuals (which we really do) and have a real distaste for legalistic and hypocritical Christians (which we really do). This kind of Christianity isâ¦ wellâ¦ sexy. Itâs the guy who sets his stack of theological books on the wooden table in that hole-in-the-wall coffee shop, pulls out his MacBook Pro, and begins to blog about the newest injustice right after tweeting about a great new band he came across. Itâs the girl who, after riding her road-bike to town, sits down for a cup of tea or chai and ruffles her Ugandan-made beanie so it sits just right on her head, then pulls out a trendy journal from her Urban-Outfitter-style backpack and begins to write about how badly she misses her YWAM DTS and about how cute she thinks book-reading-and-blogging boy is. These Believers are sensational people. Often theyâre well versed in the Bible and give color to their churches. They support missions and anything that will reach orphans and afflicted people â even if theyâve only got a couple bucks left in the bank. I could go onâ¦ but chances are youâve got someone in mind. Right now you might be thinking, âWait, I thought that maybe this kind of Christianity is where our Christian leaders were encouraging us to go…â And I admit that the whole idea might be a little unclear right now. But this is what I want to communicate: That when Radical Christianity is popular, as it is becoming for my generation of Believers, then we must ask ourselves: âis the sense of abandon I have for Jesus costing me anything, or actually just making me more popular in the eyes of the people who I would like to be perceived by as more popular?â If at the end of the day I was kicked out of my family, homeless, friendless, moneyless, and hatedâ¦ would Jesus still be enough? Because Sexy Christianity feels pretty good until someone throws a stone at youâ¦ or starts a thread of gossip about youâ¦ or sends you hate mailâ¦ or bullies your kid. Our culture has high-jacked our faith, given it a make-over, and has begun selling it for cheap. See, for Paul it wasnât about the church making much of him. It was about him making much of Jesusâ¦ And for all he cared, he and all he did was worthless compared to simply knowing Jesus. For us, a two-week trip to the third-world to share the gospel is generally a culturally accepted thing â itâll get you applause and maybe even a newspaper article if your town is small enough. Yet for the early church they had no choice but to become missionaries, right after Stephenâs death such a great wave of persecution arose because of their âRadical Christianityâ that the believers fled for their lives to other nations, carrying the Gospel with them. They didnât plan their trip, make a budget, or take little bottles of hand sanitizer with themâ¦ they only took the Gospelâ¦ and they took it into every place they went â even as they were running for their lives. Their attitude was captured in Peter and Johnâs bold statement to their persecutors: âWhether it is right in the sight of God to listen to you rather than to God, you must judge, for we cannot help but speak of what we have seen and heard.â Acts 4:19-20 They were not interested in joining popular justice movements, environmental preservation clubs, or wearing anything that made them seem trendyâ¦ they had one track minds: Jesusâ death and resurrection for the redemption of all nations and the glorification of God. That was it. And they were so compelled to tell the Good News that they proclaimed it to men in power who were threatening to put them to death. The Gospel was the hill they would literally die on, and there was nothing cool about it. The world hated them for it. Here is where âSexy Christianityâ starts to crumble. When a believer is more interested in the idea of loving Jesus than actually loving Jesus, then that is not Christianity. And we ought to wage a war of wrath upon it â mortifying, dismembering, and crucifying it, and then putting it in a tomb where it belongs. We ought to react in unconcealed hatred for it because it steals praise from God and puts it upon men, even if only in the most subtle and unassuming ways. Jesus told His disciples to âBeware the leaven of the Pharisees.â That is, to beware of the subtle poison of the flamboyant religion of the Phariseesâ¦ because it would destroy the whole body. Just as a Pharisee would make much of their tithes and their theological knowledge, so today many seek the glory that comes from spiritual-looking behavior. As Martin Luther once said, âA religion that gives nothing, costs nothing, and suffers nothing, is worth nothing.â See, these secondary actions â loving the afflicted, visiting orphans in Africa, caring for Godâs creation, etc. donât cost us anything if we do them seeking a paycheck in the form of manâs praise. If our motivation is to roll with the most modern trend, then our actions are all eternally useless (James 2:17; 1 Corinthians 1:1-3)â¦ unless they are done out of a simple overflowing love for Jesusâ¦ A response, if you will, to having been eternally atoned for on that day at Golgotha. And that love will quite possibly cost us the reputations we so desperately try to keep polished behind the P.R. of cultural normality. I wonder, after being a âRadical Christianâ goes out of style, how many radically committed Christians will remain in our high schools, colleges, and work places? And right after American culture moves on from Africa, humanitarian aid, human rights, and issues like the AIDS epidemic and human trafficking crisis, as I promise it will soon, what will our radical faith look like? When being a âsold-out follower of Jesusâ and âliving simply so that others might simply liveâ loses its cultural lackluster, what will be next? What happens when stones start being thrown at people who identify themselves with the dead man? I have no doubt that there will be a faithful remnant, but I also acknowledge that they might just be hated and persecuted just like Jesus promised. Who will remain and what will it take to stick with Jesus until the end? I believe A.W. Tozer has said it far better concerning his generation than I may be able to concerning mine. But regardless, I find his observation to be curiously relevant: “I do not recall another period when âfaithâ was as popular as it is today. âIf only we believe hard enough we’ll make it somehow.â So goes the popular chant. What you believe is not important. Only believe… What is overlooked in all this is that faith is good only when it engages truth; when it is made to rest upon falsehood it can and often does lead to eternal tragedy. For it is not enough that we believe; we must believe the right thing about the right One.”
The title probably caught you off guard. It completely contradicts what many of us have been led to believe. I know that growing up, I always thought that the Bible said that gay people go to hell …